As my 31st birthday approaches, I felt the need to evaluate what I have learned in the last 30 years. Although children are taught the basic fundamentals and life skills early on, I believe that I have only recently learned the most valuable things and they have all come through life and its experiences, not education.

The most basic realization is probably one that comes very easly to most other people. I always have had a hard time saying “No” to things — people, especially. After numerous years of doing what others wanted, I have finally decided to stop. If I don’t want to do it, I am just not going to do it. This is probably pretty plain and simple for most people, but for me, it has been a struggle. Always wanting to please others and scared of confrontation, I usually gave in. Not anymore.

And then, there’s the opposite. If I really want to do something, I am going to do it. No questions asked. In the past, I would always pass on things that I wanted to do for various reasons.

Life isn’t supposed to be taken so seriously all the time. Always waiting on more time or more money, there was always an excuse.

Without the risk of depressing anyone, life is too short to always wait on something. I am sure we have all heard of someone in the family who doesn’t use their “good” dishes until there is a more important reason. That was me — always waiting for a special occasion. Every moment should be a special occasion.

Speaking of special occasions, everyone has their best friends that they like to spend these occasions with. Within the last few years or so, I realized who my best friend truly is … my husband. Of course, ladies, we all need girl time, and husbands need to bond with other males, but there is no one who I’d rather spend time with than him.

Meeting him years ago on my 16th birthday was one of the best presents I’ve ever received. Always knowing what the other is thinking, there is an unspoken bond between us and it’s nice to know I’ve got him on my side. Having a best friend like that is key.

The last, and most important, thing I’ve learned is not to feel guilty about certain decisions I have made, especially ones that I made when I was younger. I have had a lot of regrets, but have finally learned to let them go. Every move I have made in life, good and bad, has brought me to where I am today.

As a child, I would always cry when friends and family sang “Happy Birthday” to me, not because I was happy or excited, but because I hated the attention.

Anyone who knows me well enough understands that it’s not a big deal. Going into my 31st year of life, I don’t plan on that changing. And that’s OK because it’s what I want.